As a parent, you want all the things best for your child. Academic success is no exception. You want your child to be confident enough to overcome challenges with ease.
A child is lost without confidence and self-esteem. They might have bad feelings towards learning, school, or social life. How to fix that? How to build confidence in children? Let’s find out.
The Link Between Confidence and Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the way we feel and think about ourselves. Self-esteem has a significant influence on confidence. High self-esteem contributes to increased confidence.
One of the best ways to increase your child’s self-esteem is positive reinforcement.
As children develop new skills, achieve set goals, and get positive reinforcement, they have more positive feelings towards themselves.
Confident children share similar traits. The most prominent ones are believing in themselves.
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Create a Supportive Environment that Empowers Your Child’s Growth
A positive environment allows your child to express themselves without the fear of being judged. What can you do? For starters, accept their feelings.
There might come a time when you feel you don’t understand your child’s feelings. That’s okay. What matters more is validating their emotions.
Also, express your love and admiration openly. ‘Your kids need to know that you love them, regardless of their achievements.
Another great thing is to avoid comparisons. Comparing your child to others only hurts their feelings and leads to lower self-esteem.
Give your children opportunities to receive positive and constructive feedback. This could be regarding their hobbies, education or schedules.
Our expert tutors at Ostado help your children build confidence by giving them personalised attention and constructive feedback.
In a supportive and positive learning environment, your child can grow to their full potential. To find your perfect online tutor, we offer free trial sessions.
2. Encourage Confidence-Building Behaviours
What are those confidence-building behaviours that allow your child to spark confidence? Let’s take a look:
- Encourage independence.
Give them opportunities to solve their problems. Provide them with the necessary tools and guidance, but avoid intervening.
- Help them set achievable and realistic goals.
This could be regarding their hobbies, skills they wanna learn or school grades.
- Encourage positive statements.
Teach your child the value of believing in themselves. Phrases like “I can do hard things” instead of “I’m not good enough” go a long way.
Let your child know that with effort, anything is possible.
3. Be a Role Model for Confidence
Children imitate their parents and carers. They learn by watching. You can not expect your child to become more confident by saying so. You need to believe in yourself and show your child that you are confident about your abilities.
Have your own goals, pursue them and let your kids see your efforts.
To gain more insight, watch this YouTube video by Dr Ivan Joseph about The Skill of Self Confidence.
4. Let Your Child Explore Their Interests
This one is a great strategy to boost your child’s self-esteem and follow-up confidence. Personal interests give your child a sense of ownership of learning. What are your child’s interests? To find out, observe your kid’s behaviour and favourite games.
Talk to them and provide the necessary opportunities and tools.
5. Help Your Child With Emotion Regulation
Children need help to understand their emotions. Understanding emotions promotes better reactions towards emotions, known as emotion regulation. How to do that?
This is a tricky process, depending on your child’s age. Preschoolers and teenagers all have diverse levels of understanding of their feelings. Below are helpful strategies:
- Be an active listener.
- Label the emotions.
- Detect the feeling of emotions.
- Normalise that having emotions is part of being human.
- Validate their emotions.
- Teach them how to cope with their emotions and feelings. 5 Incredibly Fun GAMES to Teach Self-Regulation video has great tips for different age groups.
What to avoid? When it comes to emotion regulation, things you shouldn’t do are as important as the steps above.
Don’t dismiss their emotions. Instead of saying, “Don’t be sad,” let them know that what they’re feeling is okay and that you’re there for them.
6. Teach Your Kids Coping Strategies
Obstacles are a part of life. No matter what you do, your children will face some challenges along the road. Confident kids overcome challenges with persistence.
Help them to break down their problems into manageable chunks. Remind them it’s okay to ask for help.
Physical activity is one of the best coping strategies. Encourage and provide your child’s favorite activities.
Remember, a simple breathing exercise can go a long way. Headspace is an excellent tool for that. The app has mindfulness activities for kids of three different age groups
- Under 5
- 6–8
- 10–12
7. Teach Them to Be Assertive, not Aggressive
Clear communication is the essence of any relationship. Assertiveness is the skill of clear communication of feelings, opinions and thoughts. It needs honesty.
The skill leads to children being able to speak up for themselves. However, there’s a thin line between assertiveness and aggression. Assertive communication isn’t offensive. Below are examples of assertive traits:
- Ability to say no.
- Negotiate.
- Strong relationships.
- Disagree respectfully.
Remember, children learn by seeing. Assertiveness training programs can help you build up the skill and help your child become more confident. For more information, take a look at Revolution Learning.
8. Praise Effort, Not Just Results
How to build confidence in a child at school? Admire their effort.
Besides being helpful for your child’s mental health, praising efforts helps them focus on learning instead of worrying over the result.
Also, you are helping your child to become more motivated. They won’t easily get discouraged by setbacks. You are teaching them a valuable lesson on persistence, which is the key to achievement.
To make things clear, admire their effort, not their IQ or talents. Instead of saying, “You are so smart,” try, “I feel proud of you for trying to solve that problem.”
9. Encourage Them to Take Risks
Healthy risk-taking is a part of growth, with no age limit! Encourage your kids to step out of their comfort zone and explore their interests. By doing so, you are also helping them to develop problem-solving skills.
Remind your kids it’s about learning, exploring and trying. It’s not about becoming number one.
How to build a child’s confidence? Take them on a tour around the world (not in a literal sense)! Visit art galleries, museums, and the playground, and go on nature walks. Help them find what they enjoy and provide the opportunity to explore more.
Mistakes That Undermine Children’s Confidence
Some habits can have the opposite effect of building confidence. Here’s what to avoid:
- Overprotecting
Encourage independence. Provide your support when they ask.
- Shaming or criticising
Focus on constructive feedback. Always admire their effort.
Setting unrealistic expectations
- Setting unrealistic expectations
Opt for age-appropriate and interesting projects.
Build Confidence FAQ
- How to build confidence in kids?Talk to them, and be an active listener. Provide a positive environment with positive reinforcement. Help them identify and express their emotions.
- How to build self-confidence in a child?Encourage them. Teach them to focus on positive things. Building confidence is not an overnight project; be consistent. Children learn by example and model confidence in their behaviour.
- How to build child's confidence?Build a positive environment. Set goals and boundaries. Offer guidance and share your own experience when needed. And focus on letting them act independently.